


An Unfinished FMA '03 Liveblog

by orphan_account



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Liveblog, Meta, Nonfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-11-18 18:39:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18124994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A liveblog of the 2003 anime Fullmetal Alchemist





	1. Introduction

Greetings!

This right here is the introduction page to what will be a liveblog of the 2003 anime Fullmetal Alchemist. The following chapters will record my thoughts, predictions, and reactions in text with supplementary image use. The chapters will be split up into an episode each. As of writing this, I plan to release at least one new chapter a week.

With preliminary information out of the way, I'm sure there are some questions the reader may have. Or at least one major question: Why the 2003 anime?

The simple answer is it's the one that interested me the most out of any of FMA material out there. But also, long time ago I encountered a vague spoiler regarding the end to FMA'03 and that it differs significantly from both the manga and Brotherhood. I've also heard that the creator of the manga was to some degree involved with the gecko ending (or gecko half? gecko 2/3rds?). I don't really even remember the spoiler anymore. Not enough to understand it or put it into words again, anyway.

But that leads me to the next question: What _have_ I been spoiled on? Well, here's a list of everything I think I know going in, in a sort-of increasing order of severity.

-I have read the first chapter of the manga a fair few years ago, so any details from it may be subconsciously remembered and recognized as they come up  
-Main character's name is Edward... Elric? I forgot how it's spellt and I know looking anything up is a dangerous prospect, so in case I get anything wrong here, I don't want to be corrected yet.  
-There's a guy called Armstrong that's really buff and has a mustache. Seems like a good guy.  
-Some "law of equivelent exchange" for the story's magic system that it calls alchemy. I love hard magic, and this certainly seems to indicate that FMA has a hard magic system.  
-"Da...ddy." I know the general circumstances surrounding this quote because I send references to it to a friend of mine to tease them, and learning about it in such a circumstance was unavoidable.  
-Beings call homunculi named after the seven deadly sins. I think I know what Envy looks like, as well as a power they have, because it is relevant to my interests.

I think aside from that, I'm totally blind.

So without further ado, let's get this ball rolling!


	2. Episode 01: Those Who Challange The Sun

Oh, we starting with kids messing with power beyond their control? Hell yeah, let's fuck ourselves up!

"Alchemy. It is the scientific technique of understanding the structure or matter, decomposing it, and then reconstructing it. If performed skillfully, it is even possible to creat gold out of lead. However, as it is a science, there are some natural principles in place. Only one thing can be created from something else of a certain mass. This is the Principle of Equivalent Exchange. This principle states, that in order to gain something, something else of equal value is required."

Well shit, I wasn't quite ready to be jumping into this already. Guess it's important, huh? And some questions have immediately popped into my mind: What defines value here? It only mentions mass, thought of course that couldn't be all there is to it. And besides that, how do you deal with less... tangible properties? 

Given that this setup is the first thing we're given, I expect it to be explored thoroughly, and probably these questions and more will come up, but I may as well get my own gears turning, right?

Anyway, kids no doubt fucked up and consequences are underway, so let's get back to that.

Yeah that's a pretty serious consequence. How's our boy who's still able to scream holding up?

  


Jeez, that's rough. Seems like a pretty neat cut, though?

"Mom...?" Oh, no, come on, you didn't.

Oh you fucked up _real_ bad, huh.

Wait... red coat, blonde hair, desert, am I watching the right show?

"If only there was some grass growing here, I could change it into bread."

I don't want to jump the gun on analyzing this magic system, so I'll refrain from trying to draw any conclusions from a single line. But it is noted.

Anyway, we're not dwelling on the fact that Al is now a big suit of armor because obviously it's not the time for that. Clearly, who would want to know anything about how exactly he ended up like that? Not me, nope.

There's a difference between prosperous and decadent. And a public fountain of wine screams the latter to me.

Everyone's got a radio, all tuned to the same station? Suspicious.

"All of God's children, who live upon this land"

Aw fuck, this towns been taken over by a cult, hasn't it.

They fixed the radio, but... how's it working when not plugged in?

"He's the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric."

Title drop. Kindof an underwhelming one, tbh.

But anyway, this scene establishes some things I guess.  
-Electricity is an established technology (I never knew much at all about the setting, so this is notable to me).  
-Ed is famous in some parts, and this Minister is famous in this place. Seems like a decent sized city, too, so I take it word doesn't travel especially fast in this setting.  
-Alchemy is known but not universally recognizable; and our cult leader here is probably just using alchemy and passing it off as miracles to the local ignorant populace, judging by how they reacted to the radio repair.  
-Mysterious lady is mysterious.

If I read the opening scene right, there's some very real experience behind those words. And if that's the case, then that's a very real limitation of alchemy.

"They do appear to come back. As the living are given an immortal soul, so are the dead given resurrection. The testament is in the miraculous works, they say."

I have no idea what Al is talking about here.

They go on to deduce that the minister is a fraud, and start explaining the basic principles of alchemy to Rose.

"It's like how I could only make a radio that was the same size as before. I couldn't make it a bigger radio, or change it into a piece of paper, or a tree, or something."

But... there's no mention of what they put in to change it from a broken radio to a fixed one. That's a little disappointing.

"Alchemists are scientists, so God is something ambiguous, that we don't believe in."

Does it make you euphoric? As it stands right now, it's about as ambiguous as your means to fix a radio, dude. Give me the deets, fEdora!

"if you get too close to the sun, all you do is burn up."

There's that experience bubbling up again.

Sir, you may not have noticed your target has quite a bit of armor. I dare say too much for a handgun.

Welp guess I was wrong, rip. /s

Anyway, Cray-cray is knocked out, they chase after Rose, and confront the minister. They say he must have a philosopher's stone and explain the whole deal about it (it's what you'd expect) but... really? Seems kinda early to bring in the legendary macguffin, doesn't it? They say it's the only explanation, but I dunno.

And then Ed pulls out a spear from the ground, much to the Minister's shock, as it was done without a transmutation circle... much like the Minister? I guess he fucking lied. I am a little annoyed that this isn't explained in this episode, feels really weird to just leave me hanging like that.

Oh hey, I guess I kinda know a little bit of what that means, huh. Wow, that also seems early.

Well, this would've been the right spot for the title drop, but they already did it like 3 times before.

And that's the first episode done. Not much to say yet, obviously I don't know what's going to become a trend and what isn't, so any minor annoyance here was just something to comment on as it happened. Maybe it'll all be fine in hindsight. I do hope we get a little more in-depth in the workings of the magic system and this isn't just action and political intrigue with some magic on the side.


	3. Episode 02: Body Of The Sanctioned

OP Time

That was okay. I recognized some faces for sure, but I'm not sure how much I want to pay attention to OPs, really. I might skip it in the future.

Back to confronting the minister.

Huh? Forbid seems like a strong word here, especially since in the last ep the transmutation of gold is brought up as an example of what alchemy is capable of. I suppose he could mean there are major consequences to it, but I find the choice of word a bit odd..

"At the same time, there is one other inherently forbidden practice, and that is human transmutation.

And they go on to admit their current state is the price they paid for their attempt to bring their mother back to life. So it is "forbidden" as in "the price is too damn high".

Minister assures Rose that his Philosopher's Stone can do it, though. Ed clarifies they want the stone to restore their bodies, not their mother. And then the minister turns his cane into a goddam minigun.

Which, along with some backup, forces the Elrics to retreat. Change scene to...

bad vibes. Apparently his body needs time to complete.

So obviously this is some bullshit setup by the Minister, the only question is what flavor. I'm guessing some weird chimera or similar abomination

So what exactly stopped you?

Because this isn't gonna help with whatever your other goal is, I imagine.

Always good to see our (I assume) third party ominously watching over things every now and then.

Let me guess, following their "resurection", they were said to have to undertake a journey for Leto or something like that?

Well that turned out worse than I expected. These boys don't seem very proactive

That's all? Would that have been so hard to mention in the last episode? I don't see what was gained by only revealing it now.

-Break for Minister's evil laugh-

But anyway, alright, so Ed's got something to assist in his alchemy stuff. Hopefully they explain more how it works, but for now the question is why conclude that that Minister has a philosopher's stone if he just seems to have a thing like what you have?

wtf

Oh hi.

Noteworthy

Oh hey. Yeah that's fucked up. Killing a fuckton of birds just to get _that_?

rip. Not actually tho, Al saves her.

Nice. Setting things up so where the bad guy practically hangs themself is always a damn satisfying way of taking them down.

Yeah, I can appreciate that. Nice job.

"Ah, what got busted up yesterday was just some junk that I transmuted to look like him." And that's fair enough with the decoy thing, he did seem kinda lifeless in that one scene.

I wish i could pull out a minigun whenever I run into a problem.

Another point against it actually being what everyone says it is, then. I swear if when Ed and Al get it they're like "Yep, just as we suspected, it's not really a PS" I'm gonna be annoyed.

But what does that mean? Saying it doesn't mean anything to me if i don't know the thing you're saying.

Christ, that was sudden and gross.

Welp.

"An imitation...? Well at least _somebody_ is surprised I guess. I take it the Minister was duped then, probably by our mysterious lady.

"How could you do that to us?

Girl, that guy played you for fools. Would you really rather have your bf be a bird-abomination that was going to kill you? Like, hope is good and all, but not if it comes from deciet.

Literally anything else.

At least the shorty has this right.

"You've got some fine legs there, don't you?" Alright, well don't be a creep.

And the villainous machinations continue.

rip

...

Goddamnit

"Envy. I'm sorry, but we must ask you to keep that form for a little while." I see. Guess I might not be seeing them for a bit.

And we end with a touch of backstory for the boys. With a repeat of the Law. "Back then, we believed that to be the true way of the world." Implying you don't believe it now? Interesting.

And that's the 2nd ep complete. Have to admit the boys deserve a bit more credit than what I gave them. They're okay.


	4. Episode 03: Mother

We begin with our boys in a library, searching for information regarding the philosopher's stone. They don't find any, but a book on alchemy triggers a flashback.

Guys, this is just a review for a D&D book or something.

And you didn't learn a damn thing from it, huh?

Noteworthy for the obscured face of the father.

As in, there was an attempt to hide it from them? or...?

"They are, after all, _his_ sons"

So Dad's an alchemist.

Bets on when they open the door? Could be this ep, could be a basement-type situation. I'll say this ep.

Anyway, Dad left and never returned, we get shots of these injured soldiers going by as Mom looks on, and the kids being happy but obviously obvlivious to what's going on because otherwise we'd be getting more direct narration about it. Maybe a war happened? Sounds like a reason for an alchemist to be called away by the state or whatever government this place has, and would be a perfect time to go missing or killed in action.

Well there we go. Sidenote: I hope we get a map soon. I like have a frame of reference for the geography of a story, especially one that throws around location names a decent bit.

"There is this artificial person thing called a homunculus. It sounds sort of like a doll that doesn't have a mind, but with alchemy your folks could probably be-"

This has (almost) never been a good idea. Also, learn to fucking recognize the value of a human being, damn.

Cyborg doggy! This is important.

Aaaaand Mom's dead. rip.

And we know how well that went.

I honeslty almost missed it, but this is the door, isn't it?

"By including a soul in this, we should be able to call Mom's spirit back and connect it with her body once again.

And what kinda soul are we using?

"What do we exchange for Mom's spirit?" Thank you, Al.

And they drop their blood in the pile. "Information... about the soul..." Okay, and this ties into why they lost what they did, kinda, I suppose.

Hey buddy, hey friend, I think I recall seeing you the first time, but do you plan to be doing anything now? Lookin for somebody, maybe?

Okay, sure.

"My theories weren't what was wrong... What was wrong... was us...

I take it this means they failed because they weren't, like, good enough to exchange for their mother in some way? Or something?

Oh thank god a name. And he is missing. And this guy is looking for him. Great, small mysteries settled. And this guy is Roy Mustang. Nice. Good name.

"Once war breaks out," not "if". Do we have some kinda empire goin on?

Nothing super noteworthy plotwise about the scene but fight animation is nice and I fuckin appreciate it.

Oh. OH. Okay, so that's what happened there. That was a bit unclear before but okay, I see. Well fuck, dude, at least you're good enough to your brother.

That... sure is a way for committing!

And that's episode three. Backstory and some important deets, plus a nice little fight animation as a bonus. Overall not bad at all! I dare say this might be a better introduction to the show than the last two eps. Hopefully the rest is more like this, then.


	5. Episode 04: A Forger's Love

I said this on discord and to a friend of mine between episodes so I should say it here, as well as try to expand on it: It occurred to me that the "law of equivalent exchange" might apply far more thematically for the narrative than mechanically for the world of FMA.And this realization leaves me... ambivalent. On the one hand, it's totally reasonable for the theme to be prioritized over the mechanic, but on the other hand... I just really wish the mechanic could have been made just as strong. I feel like I probably should give up on FMA presenting a rigorous system for its magic like I had hoped, because I fear I'm just going to be disappointed when it doesn't, and ultimately hold that against it. But would that even be unfair? It's totally possible to have mechanics and themes both be robust and support each other! Not every story has that. I don't know if every story has to have that. But I do love the stories that do.

I've also been told that there's already been more anime-original material than I thought. Maybe that'll be a good thing, judging from the (admittedly small) sample size.

But enough of that, let's get on with the episode.

We rejoin them traveling to see Roy. At a stop on the way, they apprehend a criminal, and hear about a local well-respected alchemist by the name of Majhal in the next town over, but are warned not to go there.because of... well, zombies, by the sounds of it.

You're a good kid, Al.

...Wut?

Some brats run up saying the place is off-limits.

What the fuck is your problem? Also, is the armor just... not intimidating to anybody at all? I kinda would've thought that "dude in massive full-body armor" would, y'know, give people the idea NOT to fuck with them? But apparently it has the exact opposite effect.

Well that's just plain embarrassing

Oh hey there. You the guy? You look like someone that could be the guy.

Looks like he's the guy. He takes them to his home to talk, a woman comes by to give some jam in a somewhat concerning and/or suspicious manner. 

You are just... _so_ ill-mannered. It's a problem.

Do you just enjoy making interacting with you an unpleasant experience? Or do you just not care?

Anyway, brat's parent showed up with them to make the brat apologize. Turns out brat's sister was killed when a woman "came back to life." Zombies still sounds like a safe assumption.

I can't show you, but this woman is sliding behind the tree in a purely horizontal motion. I hope it wasn't meant to be spooky or anything, because I thought it was just silly-lookin'.

But turns out this woman is supposed to be dead and this means she killed the sister. Fair enough, I suppose, what happened was weird and sinister enough to tie together. I mean, how else would you explain all that?

...How else would you explain all that?

After getting told off and their berserk buttons pushed, looks like they resolve to investigate. Kid goes off to tell her friends about it, and it's the jam lady.

Increasingly suspicious.

Is it me, or is this convenient?

Oh, it's _very_ convenient, huh.

Oh, hey, you?

But in any case you're not one to turn down good free publicity, eh?

Then the jam lady comes upon them, holds up a candle, and Ed gets dizzy, falling into...

Oh this is for something gross, isn't it. You don't have a private collection of identical mannequins and _not_ be gross with it.

"I take a mannequin, who is the perfect likeness of Karin, and bond one of the village girls to it." Yep. Gross.

"After the accident, she lost her memory, and lived from then on someplace else! And then, twenty years later, Karin got her memory back, and came straight back to you."

Well.... okay. And Majhal denies it based on how she looks now. What a shallow bastard.

rip

Oh, so no clarity even in death for this guy. Sucks more for Karin than for him, though.

...Why'd you change?

That's gonna be a hard disagree from me, shortstuff

And that's episode 4! Not bad, not great. A self-contained ep, and with that not much more to say, I think. See you all for ep 5.


	6. Episode 05: Dash! Automail

Not gonna miss a week, let's gooo!

Wait, can you eat? I know I saw Al at places where people eat, but I didn't pay enough attention to see if he actually had anything. Hold on.

Alright, looks like he doesn't really eat? I'd guess the teacup is just Majhal acting polite or something. So he's probably just thinkin about getting somethin for Ed, I guess.

Anyway, Ed calls up Roy, and Roy orders him to jump on the currently-departing train. This seems a bit silly and unnecessary, but maybe that's just the kinda guy Roy is.

Well alright. On the one hand, bit of a dick move. On the other foot, Ed deserves it. On the third tentacle, Al doesn't. Hm, gonna give this a net neutral reaction.

This episode title differs from what I had read earlier. Weird.

You're gonna hate him, I just have a feeling. Which means I'm gonna like him.

I mentioned this last time and yeah I would think so but the past 4 episodes didn't seem to indicate as much. We've finally come across what may be the first normal kid in this world.

And the rest of the interacting went without incident. That's nice.

Oh hello. Oh, wait, are _you_ why Roy wanted Ed and Al to take this train?

YES IT'S SO GOOD THAT YOU, A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE MILITARY, A HIGH RANKING OFFICIAL, CAN TRAVEL WITHOUT _ANYTHING_ BAD HAPPENING. IT SURE WOULD BE BAD IF SOMETHING UNEXPECTED OCCURED TO THIS TRAIN, GENERAL. SURELY NOTHING WILL COME OF THIS NOW

100% justified. Wait.

I think I've seen this character's face before.

Oh this is gonna be some terrible misunderstanding

Holy fuck a case of phones not being magical audio barriers beyond a few inches.

And the berserk-button can even wake the short fucker up in 3, 2..

Eyyyy

Oh shit!

Okay given the number of rounds the man in the lower right of this shot fired, and the number of bullet holes in the seat on the right, I would figure the guy in blue would not just be clutching his shoulder. So he's gotta be faking, right?

Rebels, eh?

Oh man, what kinda secret shit do we got goin on?

A much better performance than last ep.

This is why you always make sure to disarm, even when you think they're out.

I could see what was going to happen right way. What I didn't see coming was the _second_ coming in, getting warned by Al, and getting fucked by the ricochet in an exact fucking repeat of the first. Al you're too good for this world.

Fuckin really? A cannon? Come on.

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone with the best bad idea. If you see this face, get away.

I don't know if outrageous would ever be a word I'd use in a situation like this, but I'm glad this guy did.

Oh, I guess that guy is fine. Weird.

Alright, this isn't the worst idea.

Ah.

Oh yeah? And then, what, came to realize the horrors that the empire you're serving is committing? Became wise to the evils of it all? And decided to fight back against it by doing the good heroic shit like _hijacking trains and taking civilian hostages?_

Oh, not even. So just fuck you, then. Mayhaps I'm jumping the gun a bit.

I don't know how to react to this, and even if I did I don't know how I could put it into words. Like, okay, I had suspected Roy totally knew this guy was gonna hijack the train, but that he actually orchestrated the whole thing? Wait, I thought of a close approximation.

FUCK I USED THE DREW GIF TOO SOON. What the fuck is going on./p>

Oh christ.

Okay, but what is your _deal_ , dude?

Fuckin bullshit, I can't trust a word you say now.

Please say "you're welcome", please.

Oh you really are such a fucker and I'm gonna love you, damnit.

YES, fuck you!

Alright, end of ep 5. Hopefully Roy is just a clever manipulative bastard and not actually evil, but right now it could go either way. We'll see.


	7. Episode 06: The Alchemy Exam

This is lookin pretty capital-like.

And we begin with banter between Ed and Roy before getting down to business.

Say what.

Yeah that.

"Two years ago, Mr. Tucker successfully transmuted a chimera that could speak man's language."

My, my. I suspect this kind of work is kept under wraps.

Roy, this text is talking about the scientific revolution in Great Britain. Why is text never about what it should be?

"In addition to Mr. Tucker, he has a daughter, who is about to turn four, who lives with him."

Oh... oh. So uh, this is the fucker, isn't it? That guy? Oof. Welp, alright, time to strap in I guess. Sorry folks, probably no surprises for me here, I fear I know exactly where this is going now.

Al: "Then he doesn't have a wife?"

This is the most alarming silence I've ever not heard.

"Here we are." Roy you bastard don't do this to me.

Yay doggy but also oh noooooooo.

And the scumbag shows his face.

And whose fault is that, hmm? HMMMM!?

Oh god Al run get away from this man.

How many times can I say fuck you? Possibly never too many.

Roy pls. 

Oh it's cute but it hurts.

I have nothing to say, this just needs to be seen.

And again.

They then proceed to freak out about a pregnant woman. Ed heated water without drawing a circle, and that's about the only noteworthy thing to happen.

So the structure of the exam is a written portion, an interview, and a practical skill demonstration. Straightforward enough.

"The'll find out that the inside of this armor is empty." Is that a problem? I guess having a body is expected, but I think it'd be so expected as to not even be in the rules, so technically you should be fine, right?

"Hey I'm sure that Lt. Col. Mustang is thinking up something for us." Either that or he's devised away to make it even harder for you.

Guy is just full of silent pauses today.

And Al can't continue with the exam. Boooo.

This an interview, or an interrogation?

"If you are a true alchemist, the chair will not refuse you." **sure**

****

****

****

_MY HEART_

Anyway, Ed demonstrates he doesn't need a transmutation circle in a heroic fashion, and passes the exam.

And that's that. Sorry if today felt a little weak, and doubly-sorry for missing a week. Finals have kept me busy and I'm running a little distracted today in particular, but I wanted to get something out. See you next time.


	8. Episode 07: Night Of The Chimera's Cry

Well, fuck. I've been spoiled on a character that I _haven't even met yet_ , While talking to someone about FMA, they let slip that Armstrong dies in the 2003 anime. So... I know that now, and I can't unknow that. Sorry, I'll try to be more prudent from now on.

With that said, let's get this rolling again.

What is that, like, a dragon or something?

"There _are_ ways of handing this to me that are a bit more poignant, you know." This isn't a ceremony, dude, you're just getting your badge or whatever.

"Congrats! You too are now officially a dog of the military." He may as well be handing you a collar and leash. Might need a muzzle, too. We'll go over "sit", "stay", and "steak" soon enough. By the way, ready to potentially commit atorcities with your magic?

Motherfucker.

Following the opening, we're informed there's a serial killer on the loose. Lovely. Meanwhile, Fucker is feeling the pressure of needing to do well for his upcoming evaluation.

Don't you fucking look at her you son of a bitch.

You sure you've managed to fit enough boasting in there? Must be difficult trying to fit such a massive ego in such a little space. But hey, your very own body somehow manages.

MY HEART.

"She said Dad was a good-for-nothing, and she couldn't put up with him any more, so she went back to her parent's home." Well, at least part of that is true.

"My wife couldn't stand being poor, and left us. That was just before I became a State Alchemist." My, what _interesting_ timing.

Just can't say "fuck this guy" enough.

God, thank you. Thank you for not only realizing something's very wrong, but acting on it. As annoying as you can be, at least you know to take action, Ed.

Brigadier General Basque Grand, the Iron Blood Alchemist. "He's the foremost authority on redirecting alchemy to military tactics." Ah, the top bastard, then.

I vaguely recognize this man's face, I think.

OOoo, some interesting tattoos he's got there. What does that say? I can only clearly make out the "TERRA". I'm not gonna risk looking it up, that would likely only lead to spoilers. Terra refers to, like, Earth, but I can't for the life of me interpret the rest in a way that would mean anything.

In any case, he's not happy about that, and fuckin booked it out of there.

Alright, sure. Gonna throw out a guess that it'll... enhance his strength or something, why not. And he was probably wanting in the library to find out what he can about it.

Yikes.

"Apparently, after that, it didn't eat anything, and died." Double yikes. This doesn't sound like anything to be commended for, really. Like, congratulations, you've succeeded in creating something that just absolutely hates being alive.

"I wonder why Tucker would create such a thing." A desperate need for recognition no matter the cost, plus probably some petty jealousy/revenge mixed in for good measure. He's a despicable man.

"But there was someone in the military that at least thought that there was some value in utilizing it." Unfortunately, contemptable minds tend to flock to the same kinds of places. 

"What about Tucker's wife?" "Ah, you mean the one who died before they came to Central?" And of course Fucker can't even keep his goddamn story straight. 

Back to the serial-killer plot. It looks like an ugly death, whatever it was.

The fuck!?

Ooooh shit, Ed's gettin flashbacks. That's fucked up.

And now Fucker is trying to lecture/console/sympathize. God shut the fuck up. This is not comparable. Ed was at least willing to put himself on the line over it, and I think he genuinely feels remorse for what happened to Al because of it. Because of him.

Looks like a top bastard, indeed.

And that's the first mention of... that. Okay. Well. HUH. So that is indeed what we're going with, yeah. THAT empire.

MY HEART.

And here we are. Fuck. FUCK. This entire time has been hitting me harder than I ever would have expected before getting to it. And now that I'm seeing this I just feel... a little bit emptier.

But as much as it hurts, it's when the show gets serious like this that it's at its best. For real, this is a well fucking done scene. There's no music, there's nothing... added to it. It's raw, quiet and deeply uncomfortable. We only get a little bit of background ambient noise, with only one foreground noise at at time. Ed's shaky breathing, the chimera's sniffs and strained speech, the clatter of the watch on the floor. 

Every further word out of this bastards mouth is just another reason to hate him more.

Thank you so much, Ed. Now, again, please.

_AGAIN, PLEASE._

"You are the same as I am." Goddamnit. Always with this fucking phrase, the most trite, overused, and inane fucking combination of words in fiction.

  


I dunno, man. I mean, it's a risk, sure, but I see a perfect candidate as collateral for any exchanging that might need happening..

Ah, but the Fucker brings up their mother.

This bastard better get his eventually.

Oh god, please. Please don't hurt. Please don't be a dog-kicker.

Well, that's... something. Reacts to other alchemy? Or chimera's in particular?

Ooooh, dude, is it like a scanner? You gain knowledge of alchemical things you touch?

  


Okay... well, fuck. That also hurts to see, but I can understand it. It's no way to live, and if they can't save her then I don't see any other option.

Awww fuck that's fucked up, though.

"God, I now understand. The reason why my brother gave me this accursed arm... It was so that I would take those alchemists, who have departed from the path of God, and with their same devilish works, destroy them." And y'know what? I can't fault the guy for coming to this conclusion. I just hope he chooses his targets wisely, and doesn't become blinded by his mission.

And that's that. Well, shit. Sorry for taking so long to get to this one. Finals are over now, so I should be picking up the pace now. If I don't, pester me. I half expect the next ep to be brighter, considering how dark and how much of a downer this one was. We'll see. In any case I can say I am looking forward to more, I think.


	9. Episode 08: The Philosophers Stone

  
Let me just put a small word of appreciation here, that all we get is a *clap* and then that image, and we immediately know what is being attempted here. Without any further explanation either, because it isn't necessary.

  
"If ever there was a devilish act committed in this world, this incident would definitely have to be it."  
"The devil, huh? We, State Alchemists, are human weapons in the service of the military. Whenever something comes up, we are called upon, and if ordered to, we must dirty our own hands... From the point of doing this or that with other people's lives, there's not a huge difference between the position we're in and the actions that Tucker took."

He _says_ all that, but I'm ready to risk reading too much into this exchange. It kinda sounds like he's saying it to himself. Something to keep himself... grounded? And in any case it's not something Roy is happy about, anyway. It's not something _to_ be happy about.

Side-note, still hearing Ed's spaced-out claps during all this is a great detail. This show is really so good when it's serious.

"As such, you must keep moving forward, even if you have to force yourselves to accept this."  


And this is just tough love, isn't it? I mean, okay, I still don't really know Roy's motivations and goals, but I really want to like the guy.

  
And here we get more ugliness from the military. The fact that you will accept research and knowledge gained through immoral means, means that you're just going to get more people like Fucker. And sure it may be _useful_ , but it makes bastards out of the lot of you.

  
Well alright, then. I'm a little bit surprised, actually. Would have thought maybe he'd have slipped away with the help of a higher-up but I guess it was just too much shit to avoid. I recall mentioning to a friend of mine that if I had to be executed, I'd prefer the method to be firing squad. Can't fully put into words why.

Anyway, Fucker's shit isn't going public, obviously. Ed's still understandably pissed off and requests to assist in the search for the serial killer. Roy isn't putting up with his shit, and Ed turns in his ~~badge~~ watch and leaves.

  
"They'd never expect me, Winry, to come all this way to congratulate them!"

Thank you for stating your own name to yourself while also listing your exact reason for being here to nobody in particular.

Al goes to Lt. Hawkeye to ask about the Philosophers Stone and...  
  
_Oh my god._ When you're so goddamn huge you _are_ the wall people hide behind to eavesdrop.

WHOA! Okay, hold up, stop, pause, time out. That guy is the Fuhrer? Or, wait, is this some kinda fake and/or body double situation? I'm just a little suspicious that this is how they'd reveal... well, he's supposed to be, like, THE top guy, isn't he? That's what I assumed, at least.

Ed's pulled a favor from Major Dad to get access to the files on the serial killings.

  
Okay, this little physical interaction they have is kinda funny.

  
Alright, so there's no way they showed you to talk about things we already know for no reason, right?

  
Right. She's the killer. Her refrigerated truck let's her move the bodies without suspicion, and she was just revealed to the viewers as somebody to pay attention to, and now Winry is in danger. This is the rest of the episode.

  
And then we get this shot from her perspective, eyeing up Winry."If you like, would you care to look inside?" AND THEN SLOW ZOOM ON THE WOMAN'S FACE AS SHE WATCHES WINRY GO INSIDE. Okay I think you've made it clear enough, show.

Ed then immediately puts 2 and 2 together. Buuuut fails his insight check on the woman faking being a victim, and gets a club to the back of the head for it. Welp, he tried.

  
...okay, sure?

"A man...?" That... doesn't really change anything, though, does it?

  
Okay, well here's how this whole little plotline ties back into one of the themes of the story, I guess.

  
I really like when a fight is messy and frantic like this. Like, it's not two highly skilled fighters showing their absolute best against one another. It's a maniac and kid that's absolutely terrified out of his wits just stumbling around swinging wildly. And Ed turning around and hitting Al accidentally like that is a great demonstration of just how fucking far out of it the whole situation took him.

  
  
  
"I couldn't even bring myself to think there would be anyone to save me."  
...  
"But then, we really aren't devils, much less gods. We're only human!" Also incredibly easy to forgot how young Ed still is. Kid punched out a grown man last ep. So yeah, this is a good reminder.

"Are you sure you want it to get out that you committed the sin of human transmutation?"  
  
"At least, that's the way I _could_ pressure you to make sure you stay in line." Oh, you!

  
Holy fuck a written document that makes some sense... before going back to nonsense after the first sentence. Oh well, at least they tried? Anyway, title drop. A much better one than in the first two eps, I add.

And that's that! Good ep. People should start yelling at me to get these out at a faster pace.


	10. Episode 09: Be Thou for the People

Gotta love how, at the end of episode 7, I was like "maybe episode 8 will be lighter." And then it turns out it was the second fuckin punch coming in. Not that I mind, of course. In fact, I really like it! Keep the pain train going, it's the show's strongest aspect!

  
Like a kid in a candy shop, eh? Who can blame her, though? This is a great opportunity for her.

  
Oh boy. Are we not over shit yet? Because that'd make sense and I'm all about it. I'm strapped the fuck in, let's get melancholy!

Ed gets called in by Roy for a mission to inspect a coal mine.

  
Oh, so are we like, on the edge of the empire here? Neat. 

  
Wait, hold on. The board came in from the left to hit Ed in the back of the head. And the kid holding the board then turned around when he noticed. Meaning he was walking backwards with the board. Why?

Anyway, they get identified as people with money, so the local inn owner decides to gouge their wallets out for a night's stay. They don't have enough, and so decide to fix the worker's tools in exchange. Something about all of this rubs me the wrong way. Like, shit, how does the economy work like this? I guess an answer might be "it doesn't, and that's the problem."

"I'm here on business. I came to inspect the coal mine." Silence in three, two...  
  
Hmmmm, so what's the problem gonna be? Workers can't work somehow and are trying to cover it up for some reason? Maybe overworked and underpaid? Or are choosing not to work? Or maybe they're running something shady on the side that would surely get discovered if an inspection was done.

"I am... a State Alchemist, after all."  
  
So they definitely hate the military. Plenty of good reasons for that, anyway.

And the reason is a shitty supervisor, got it.

  
Yeah, that's fucked up. And stupid. Why the fuck is the same person setting the wages _andI/i > the taxes? No wonder this place isn't doing good!_

__

  
Alright, so I imagine Ed won't fall for this asshole's brown-nosing. Just a matter of what he can do as an inspector about this whole situation. Can he fire this guy? Arrest him? I hope the latter, but surely there'd be some struggle. Possibly with that guys... assistant? Lyra.

Meanwhile back at Central, Roy gets promoted to Colonel! And is to be sent to Eastern Command Center. General Hakuro mentions the Eastern Division has some untrustworthy folks. So Roy's being sent to root out corruption in that division, I take it.

Back at Yoki's mansion, Ed is not impressed with, well, anything.

  
Now, Ed doesn't accept it, and I still don't expect him to, but I think delaying action is not a great idea. Should have rejected it immediately, confiscated it as evidence, and blasted the motherfucker across the table.

  
Yeah delaying action was not a good idea. I mean, Al is there, so it'll probably be fine, but this could have been avoided.

  
You have a duty and obligation as a State Alchemist working on assignment to fuck up the corrupt official running this town into the dirt. That would help it. You have a duty and obligation as a human being that _can_ help it, to do so to the best of your ability. Don't give me your apathetic bullshit, Ed.

"If you're really that hard up, why don't you leave this town and go find some other work?" Not so easily done as said.

"[...T]his place is our home, and our coffin." Also people are stubborn like that. Even if they should leave for good reason, they won't because people don't like change. They'd rather die with the town than leave for better lives.

  
Interesting solution. Still would like you to cuff this fuck, but at least this resolves how the town is run for the future.

  
Oh, worried about what the State will think? I wonder what the State will think of you being a corrupt fuck. Especially the new Colonel running the division you're in.

I wonder if it's possible to detect alchemized gold. If it is, and this guy accepts, what an idiot. But hey, that's just another way to pin him, so fine by me.

  
Ha! Alright, you fuck, well done.

  
And there it is. And because he signed off on the title deed with no record of the transaction, there's no proof of the gold ever even existing. Well fuckin played.

Meanwhile, back at Central, Roy is enjoying a nice cup of "All according to keikaku." Dude really has his ear to the fuckin innner workings of the military, huh.

"They're saying that there is a champion of the people among the dogs of the military."  
  
Awww, look that that, Roy's proud of his boys.

And a three-year timeskip! Okay!

  
And so humble!

Anyway, that's where they're headed for Liore, so then the first two episodes of the series happen. Great, so I guess we're ready to continue from after what happened there.

That was an alright episode. Bit of a look at another part of the empire, some good ol' trickery to fuck over a bad guy, good times all around. I look forward to see how the series continues with the brothers a little older now. Maybe we'll set foot deeper into a grander plot now? I am nearly a fifth of the way through the series now, so it feels like a decent time to start getting more than hints and glimpses of something bigger going on.


	11. Episode 10: The Phantom Thief

Japan seems to like phantom thieves in fiction. I never bothered to check, but I wonder now if there's some original old story that all modern "phantom thief"s are a reference to. Something to look into in my free time, I suppose.

Anyway, we're on a train again, and the brothers are 15 and 14, like the first two eps and at the end of the last. Great! Looks like we might actually picking up from after the whole introductory incident.

They're passing the time playing cards, but Ed's frustrated.

  
Okay, pretty straightforward symbolism going on here, I guess? Mustang is a wildcard. Not in the sense of being crazy and unpredictable, but in the sense of being opaque and difficult to read, I imagine. I get that.

They get off the train at a place called Aquroya. Ed says info on the philosopher's stone could be anywhere, but following that up with how Aquroya is a tourist spot, complete with a shot of a bunch of signs and ads for all the things to do there... doesn't seem like he's actuallly got the stone in his sights at the moment.

Al innocently calls Ed out on it.  
  
And Ed reveals... well, a lot of things at once. One, that Al hit the nail on the head. Two, that he's a fuckin cheater. Three, that his poker face is paper thin, crumpling under the slightest suspicion.

  
HA!

Cut to a big ol' police chase where we meet...  
  
Our titular character of the episode, I take it? Throws... sticky cards?

  
What a way to run. I guess it demonstrates well enough the level of competence to expect from the guy.

Anyway she escapes using her cards and alchemy to make an escape route only she can take.

  
Alright, so this is the ep, huh? The borthers finding out about her and probably this thing I presume she stole, and going after her?

  
Congrats, dick, you caught him. Because clearly the next person you see to use alchemy is the thief. I don't even know yet if that's the reasoning or not, but I'm taking the shot. What an idiot.

So they are brought in for questioning, and it turns out the only lead the police have is that the thief uses alchemy. Brilliant. Then Ed gets food poisoning. Sure. So they go to a clinic and the doctor wants to give Ed a shot. And here we learn Ed hates shots. Okay.

What's so bad about shots, anyway? Like, I never really understood what some people found so scary about needles. They're tiny! It's not like, a fuckin knife goin into you or something.

Oh okay so that's why this all happened, I guess, so this chance encounter could occur. So there's Psiren, I guess.

So the dick gets confirmation that Ed is indeed a state alchemist (thanks, Roy) and his demeanor changes drastically, now requesting Ed's direct assistance in catching Psiren. Sure.

As expected, they have shitloads of security, but she manages to get in anyway. Ed gives chase, they fight, Ed loses because... well, because she's a woman and he's a teen boy.

Next day at the hospital...  
  
  
Goddamnit, so he discovers the truth through random chance and peeping.

And here's the motive  
  
 _Sure_. Now I guess this cou;d have a further twist where the hospital funding was just a convenient excuse, but that wouldn't really improve anything, so hopefully they don't go with that.

So on the next heist she gets trapped, but Ed secretly compromises the trap to save her. Fair enough.

  
Still have about a quarter of the episode left, this shit isn't resolved yet, don't fuckin play me like this.

  
What a shocking surprise that nobody could have seen coming. Oh well, time to get back to HQ, yeah?

_SURE_. Also let's just not think about the fact they clearly mean a _Catholic_ nun. Which means Christianity is a thing!? Was Jesus Christ an alchemist? Is there a Pope? What the fuck is Christianity in this world?

  
Uh-huh.

Now she's a school teacher.

And then we get hit with the reveal that Psiren is actually responsible for the revitalization of the town by bringing tons of tourists in. A sortof last breath of life before the city sinks into the water around it in a few years.

This is dumb. I'm sorry, but this whole episode is pretty fuckin dumb, and I think it comes across already how fuckin tired I am of it.

Anyway Ed catches her and she's goin to jail, but not before giving Ed a clue about where to look for the rock. Hooray. Oh and she escapes, because of course she does.

Oof. Can we not get any more episodes like that? So far every ep post time-skip has been not great. 0/3 so far, while pre time-skip is like, 5/7


End file.
